Divine Healing
When you tell your friends that you have seen a ghost, a ufo or an angelic being, you are liable to find out who your friends really are !
I have encountered all 3 in my travels and more than one friend has abandoned ship, but I got tired of keeping the most exciting part of my life to myself, so I am coming out of the closet.
In my early 20's I used to smoke pot and write songs by day and then read the bible late at night when everyone else was asleep, admittedly not a very groovy thing for a rock singer to do, but I desperately wanted to get in contact with God so I could tell him what he needed to fix up on this planet, particularly my corner of it.
Thanks to a man who loved and believed in me I had my own band and was having small successes with my music, yet although things were progressing well and I maintained an outward appearance of "rock-starness, I was prone to bouts of depression and extreme moodiness. I looked forward to sleep and my dreams, which I began to record on tape. I would often remember several upon awakening and became obsessed with learning to interpret them. I learned Jungian dream analysis from a book by Robert A. Johnson and began exploring my own depths this way.
During this time on two separate occasions, in the early morning hours when all was still and quiet, I heard music which was not coming from an earthly source. I know this because as a musician, whenever I hear beautiful music I naturally search out where it is coming from. This music was equally loud inside and outside the house, and no matter which direction I faced.
Both times the music went on for about an hour until I fell asleep in wonder. The first time it was a choir of very high, sweet voices. The second time it was a melodious and seductive high -pitched woodwind instrument of some kind.
When I got brave and told a few people about this musical encounter, they either dismissed it as a drug induced hallucination or thought I was lying, except for one Christian couple who wanted me to give Bible classes as they thought I was "chosen". This was the beginning of a strange chapter in my life: Pop singer, pothead and prophetess ... I could see the headlines...
When I read David Wilcock's story recently on his great website www.divinecosmos.com I saw many parallels to my own journey, namely in the constant drive to make sense of the unexplained events unfolding in one's personal life and the unrelenting need to search for the truth which seems increasingly stranger than fiction! He also refers to the fact that he was reading material that is perhaps not usual 7yr old fare...I was reading Asimov and Aldous Huxley at that age...
After the music incident I began reading many other books. While listening in wonder to that ethereal music on both occasions I had asked the music maker, whom I supposed must be God, what it meant and was answered quite clearly in my mind that I would not learn all I wanted to know about life, God and my own life's purpose by reading only one book, even if it was the scripture I grew up with.
I read non stop (to the horror of my then husband) for 2 years, an estimated 500 books on all things philosophic, thesophic, paranormal and miraculous, searching for answers to the question "What is the true purpose of human life ?" At the same time, I was trying to kick-start a music career and was smoking a lot of pot as a coping mechanism.
I studied the works of Madame Blavatsky (well worth the trouble), Ouspensky, Wilhelm Reich, Jane Roberts' Seth material, Edgar Cayce and even Shakespeare, looking for clues. I actually read the complete Oxford dictionary ( I like words, ok ?) thinking I just might get lucky. I do have a much better vocabulary than I did...
I learned about herbal medicines also during this time because being in the music industry in the 80's meant drugs, alcohol and greasy pizzas. Doctors didn't seem to help very much when I was ill, which was often, and the system was rather dehumanizing.
I ran away from married life and went to live with my best friend and guitarist, yet although he was a perfect partner I was still empty inside and wanted more out of life than playing music in pubs. I felt guilty for being so desperately unhappy with such a lovely man there to support me. I was also realizing that I was seriously addicted to drugs and alcohol. I read "The Imitation of Christ" and decided my problem was that I wasn't saving anyone else's life, so I left a good relationship to rescue a suicidal ex-boyfriend, which of course didn't work.
Oh, he lived, but I was so tired of drugs and dramas that I renounced the world of ambitions altogether and moved into a Hare Krishna ashram at the ripe old age of 28. There I studied the Vedic scriptures, which predate the bible by a few thousand years but after many years of trying to become an initiate of this ancient Eastern tradition the dogma of the institution finally drove me away. I gave more than a few years of my life to this quite seriously and it was time well spent because, apart from all the politics and carry- on, the philosophy itself is quite perfect. It's just that people are not...
I also encountered many people there who were hardly spiritual giants; it appeared to be the least spiritually qualified in a lot of cases who had set themselves up as leaders and teachers. At least I managed to learn a bit of Sanskrit and to kick my drug habits, although I found 12 step fellowships more practical in regard to the latter, mainly because they didn't require me to rise at dawn, throw a cold bucket of water over myself and dress in Indian clothes. OK, I LOVED the clothes...
In the late 90's I attended an excellent meditation course called "Awakening the Third Eye" (ATE) at Clairvision School run by Dr Samuel Sagan. There I had the most amazing healing and meditation experiences. I attended the school for about 18 months but left after a friend I had introduced to the school was killed outside the premises in a hit and run accident. www.clairvision.org
At Clairvision I learned to meditate and to see inner worlds for myself. Although only a beginner, I had several profound experiences. The first was a healing where I saw 3 light-beings who rearranged the energies in my abdomen. I had been suffering from painful, ongoing "female"complaints since I was 16, when I had had a child whom I adopted out. (This was the most painful emotional experience of my life, a total tragedy as I was later to learn that I would never have another child.Years later I met my son and he is a beautiful person. Healing finally !)
During the healing, I literally saw a matrix of light within my abdomen dotted with dark patches which were restored to light by these beings. There was an aura of uplifting relaxation emanating from them and a feeling of complete trust enveloped me. Since that time I have had absolutely no return of the complaint or the pain.
I also learned past-life regression and various clairvoyant and healing techniques and wish I had been able to continue on that path, but life has a way of shunting you in to the next part of the journey sometimes, whether you like it or not.
Besides, I was busy trying to rescue yet another broken man, again to no avail, yet this time I was to be cured of my "savior complex" for good. I ended up in a court case for domestic violence, received victim's compensation (can I stop being a victim now, please ?) and moved to the country to recuperate and review my whole life yet again.
After recovering for a few years I met the wonderful healer who trained me in Thought Field Therapy and Theta Healing. These two amazing modalites, loving friendships, my 12 step fellowships, the healing energies of mother earth, the experiences previously mentioned, along with patient guidance from my higher self have given me the confidence to finally share my healing journey and my life with others.
My main passion at this point in time is to share my reluctant awakenings at the hand of my spirit guide, Otis, who is a higher aspect of myself. I am referring to my book, Orion's Daughter, which was written over the last few years the old fashioned way, sitting under a tree with pen and paper.
I am in the process of learning how to use internet technology to publish the book. This I feel is the best way I can share who I am and what I have learned. It's been quite a strange thing to come to terms with, channeling a star-being who says he is my higher self ! And you thought I was crazy before ! Well, I am treating it as an active imagination exercise. After all, if Neil Donald Walsch thinks he can have a conversation with God, then I can have a conversation with an extraterrestrial.... (thanx Neil!)
Well, whatever some may think of my process, my work or my life, I now realize that the point of my earthly existence is to give the gift to everyone I meet of being exactly who I am.
In this way and no other I have finally found the meaning of my life : To be me.
I now define success as living the life you choose for yourself.
I am.
So are you ?
There is a Source from which all Life flows and though everything I have learned is subject to change without notice, there is one thing I DO know never changes:
We are the Beloved.
Beloved
